Making Your Social Media Private
Social media is a good way to build community and stay connected. It can also be used against us, fake profiles built to target LGBTQ+ people for extortion or violence are common enough to take seriously.
Fake Profiles, aka Catfishing
Catfishing is when someone creates a false identity to pursue a deceptive relationship. In our community, it's sometimes used to set up extortion or violence. Keep your accounts private, not public, and only accept requests from people you can actually verify.
AI powered outing and facial recognition. AI tools can now analyze public profiles, follows, likes, and posts, and infer sexual orientation or gender identity with real accuracy, even from a private account, if you've ever posted publicly or appear in someone else's public photos. Any photo you post, even without your face, even cropped, can sometimes be cross-referenced with other images online, so treat a profile photo as something that may not stay private forever, even if your account is.
A few things that help: audit your old public posts, ask friends to untag you where needed, and check who can see your likes and follows.
When joining an LGBTQ+ Facebook group, check its privacy setting. Facebook groups are now either Public or Private, and Private groups are either visible in search or hidden.
- Public: anyone can find and see it.
- Private, visible: shows up in search, but only members see posts.
- Private, hidden: doesn't show up in search at all.
Even hidden groups carry some risk depending on who runs them and who's allowed to join, membership alone can be a signal. For an organization page, review the privacy options in Page Settings, most of what you post as a page is public by default.
To make your account private: go to your Profile, tap Settings, then Privacy, then Account Privacy, and turn it on. Turn on two factor authentication too, see the Security section for how.
If someone's behaving inappropriately, report and block them: tap their username, tap the menu in the top right, and choose Block.
X (formerly Twitter)
By default, your posts are public. To restrict them to approved followers, go to Settings and privacy, then Privacy and safety, and turn on Protect your posts. One thing to know: if you ever turn this off again, everything you posted while protected becomes public.
TikTok
TikTok collects significant data, and its recommendation algorithm can expose community membership through what you watch and engage with, even without posting anything yourself. If you use it, set your account to private, review who can see your following list, and know that your For You feed and engagement history are both more revealing than they feel.
VPNs
A VPN (virtual private network) encrypts your internet connection and routes it through another server, so your browsing can't easily be tied back to your location or identity. Useful context for this page specifically: some dating apps and social platforms are blocked or monitored more heavily in certain countries, a VPN helps with both.
Mullvad VPN: strong no-logs policy, accepts anonymous payment, well-audited. Paid but inexpensive.
ProtonVPN: Swiss-based, audited no-logs policy, has a free tier that is actually trustworthy, unusual for free VPNs.
Free VPNs are almost always a bad tradeoff. If a VPN is free, your data is usually what's funding it. ProtonVPN's free tier is the exception, it's backed by a legitimate paid service. Full setup details are in the Security section.
Using Dating Apps Safely
As much as we want you to find "the one," we want you to be aware that dating apps could be very risky when it comes to your safety as well.
Dating apps have given a lot of LGBTQ+ people something valuable: a way to find community and connection without being visible. That matters. It's also true that in some countries, these apps are actively used to target us.
In Nigeria, a pattern called kito, people posing as queer on apps to set up assault and extortion, is one of the most common forms of violence against LGBTQ+ people. In Egypt, police have used fake profiles to arrest gay men, then used their phones to lure more people. These aren't rare edge cases. They're documented patterns that happen every week.
The tips below won't eliminate the risk. But they'll lower it significantly.
Change your dating app icon
Make it look different on your home screen. Within Grindr and Scruff go to Settings, App Preferences, Custom App Icon. If you have touch ID on your phone, enable it for these apps (Settings, Privacy Settings).
Where are you most vulnerable?
Think about which apps on your phone could expose you if someone else held it. Know how to delete them quickly, and enable a passcode lock on sensitive apps where possible, many dating apps support this. If it's accessible to you, consider a secondary device or a secondary phone profile just for dating apps.
Keep your personal info safe
Do not give personal information to strangers and be cautious with sharing information about your private life. For example, do not share where you live with someone you haven't met yet, or your other identity (email address, social media account).
Create separate accounts
Consider creating an email address that you only use for meeting partners. If you use a video chat platform, create a separate account as well.
Keep your image safe
We recommend you do not post a picture of your face if you live in a country where being LGBTQ+ puts you in danger. Worth knowing too: any photo you post, even without your face, even cropped, can sometimes be cross-referenced with other images online. Treat a profile photo as something that may not stay private forever, even if your account is.
Check where you sync your info
If you take or receive photos through a dating app, check whether your phone automatically backs those up to iCloud or Google Photos. A cloud backup is another place those photos exist outside your control, worth knowing about if your account or device is ever compromised.
Be aware of how you're tracked
For location-based apps like Jack'd, Scruff, and Grindr, use "hide distance" so other users can't accurately pinpoint your location.
Be secure
If you start communicating via text with someone you meet online, use a secure platform such as Signal. Remember that using Signal means they'll have your phone number; possibly use a burner phone if you'd like to be extra cautious.
Think about what physical safety looks like for you
When meeting someone from an app, choose a public place and let others know where you're going. Consider a timed safety call: a scheduled time by which you'll contact the person who knows where you are, so if you don't check in, they sound the alarm. Do not travel to a different town or country to meet your date. If you decide to meet up in person, don't go alone. A video call beforehand is a good idea too, see the Communications section for how to do that safely.
For your first meeting in a public place, make sure it's before dark. Don't take too much with you, unless necessary, leave your debit card and important papers at home.
Report negative incidents
Report negative incidents on the app to the app, most provide a way to both block a user and notify the app of harassment.
Protect your sexual health
Make your sexual health decisions before you go online, and stick to them when chatting and when you meet. Don't let anyone talk you into something you're not comfortable with. Follow your instincts, if something doesn't feel right online or in person, leave.
Get tested regularly for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, every three months is a good cadence. Some apps like Grindr and Hornet offer testing reminders.
If you do get diagnosed with an STI, notify your partners. If you don't feel comfortable doing so directly, TellYourPartner.org makes it easy to text or email them anonymously.
Try not to use apps under the influence
You may share more than you mean to, or make different decisions than you would sober. Keep an eye on your drinks to prevent anyone from putting something in them.
Note: You can find Grindr's complete Safety Guidelines here.